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What I Did On My Holidays – The Redemption of Detroit

So it occurs to me that I have extensively rubbished Detroit International Airport in recent blogs, and while I defend this position as being entirely justifiable based on the key fact that Detroit Airport is horrid in every way, I realise that in the interest of fair play I must point out three key things.

1.  Detroit International Airport does a really, really good jam and peanut butter sandwich.  (Or ‘jelly’ and peanut butter, I discovered.)  I mean, really, really good.  Over-priced but worth it.

2.  You can ride a sort of internal tram-monorail thing up and down and up and down and up and down the main international terminal for hours of entertaining travel based joy while waiting for your flight in relative comfort and ease, and while this may serve no practical purpose whatsoever, it is a nice way of passing the time.  You can also ride the travelators on the ground from sections A-B-C and back again, past the traditional Yea Olde Authentic Irish Pub showing football and the sushi bars and all the usual stuff of the airport, and may finally notice while doing so key point the third…

3.  The cops at Detroit airport ride segways.   Now…

… call me old-fashioned…

… but I find it quite hard to take anyone seriously on a two-wheeled vehicle that resembles something between a pram and a pogo stick.  I mean, I respect that the thing could do a surprising turn of speed and a decent turning circle,  but would James Bond really have a segway chase?   And are not Americans already suffering from a certain cliche of too much burger to too little meat, and does riding back and forth on this device really help encourage the macho image of the immigration service?  I mean perhaps they’re not aiming to encourage a macho vibe… in which case the guns and shouting are a bit of an own-goal… but segways?  Really?  It’s like having your SWAT team on a bicycles only without the charisma, or having the SAS kick down the doors of the building, storm inside and go, ‘oh whoops left the oven on’.   Anyway.  Just thought I’d share that surreal consideration for anyone who has not yet had the pleasure and the pain of trying to change planes at Detroit International Airport…