A guide to useful terminology that you may hear if you happen to wander into a theatre.
There’s an air-gap: the light’s unplugged.
There’s a resistance issue: the light’s unplugged.
Get me a sky clamp: this is a ridiculous idea that will never work, go away and please don’t come back.
Get me a long weight: really. As long as you possibly can.
Patching issue: we have no idea what’s wrong with it.
Phasing issue: someone’s been electrocuted.
Transformer issue: the thing exploded.
Push the DFA* up: you’re an idiot. Go away. (*DFA = Does F**k All.)
Phantom power: our friendly neighbourhood ghost.
Cuing error: stage manager fell asleep.
Oping error: board operator fell asleep.