Seah’s syndrome is a rare medical condition affecting vampires. Essentially, it causes a mutation of the intestinal lining whereby the vampire’s digestive system, which can usually break down and process all blood types that may be imbibed, is altered to reject all but a specific antegen blood group. While most vampires can muddle by with standard O-type blood, and just be careful to avoid drinking any blood type which carries the rejected antegens, in extreme cases of Seah’s Syndrome the unfortunate vampiric victim can only process one specific blood group and will have a violent, often fatal reaction to the drinking of any blood which does not meet very high medical standards.
This, combined with a rising concern about blood quality and personal hygiene in general, following the discovery that vampirism did not, in fact, render immunity to certain blood-borne diseases, has naturally inhibited the lifestyle of many otherwise merrily predatory vampires, as a victim of Seah’s Syndrome, while he or she may enjoy stalking their prey, will often have to conclude their hunt with a series of personal and probing medical questions before risking even a casual drink.
4 comments
NikiI says:
April 6, 2010 at 10:25 pm (UTC 1 )
Love it!
Arnold Akien says:
April 7, 2010 at 7:14 pm (UTC 1 )
Far away and Long Ago and in a Publishing Related Blog not so very far away this Vampiring item did appear …
” Teresa sidelighted this opening paragraph of a book review yesterday, remarking “Why do reviewers keep recycling this stupid rant?”
Once upon a time in a world far, far away, publishing was run by editors. People who were interested in finding new talent, and developing that talent with the aim of building an author’s name, which in turn led to profits. Nowadays, publishing is run by accountants, and their sole interest is instant profit. Original talent still slips through, but mostly that is accidental. More likely, the accountants trawl for something vaguely like a book they know has already sold, then churn this out with a bit of fanfare in the hope of making a fast buck.
I have no particular interest in the book the reviewer goes on to slam; for all I know it’s as bad as he says it is. Or not. What interests me is how SF Site, a long-established SF and fantasy review venue run by people with plenty of experience in the SF world, would come to publish a set of, well, basically, insane lies about people they know perfectly well, as if it were somehow reasonable and normal to do so.
As a practicing SF editor working for a particular house, acquiring and publishing specific books by real authors—you know, as an actual person with a name—I realize that the standard instructions on my dance card admonish me to ignore outbursts like the above. And generally I do. But for once I’d like to pause and wonder. First, because it really is nonsense on stilts. Book publishing was never a heaven “run by editors”, and it is by no means today a hell “run by accountants.” If our “sole interest” was “instant profit,” not only would we never do any number of the things we actually do every day, we probably wouldn’t’t be in book publishing at all. Just thinking about what I did in the office yesterday, about a third of my time was devoted to putting together deals that will immediately put non-trivial sums of money into the hands of writers in exchange for books that we will publish months and years from now, realizing “profit” (if any) only after even more months and years have elapsed after that. In addition, I also spent over $2,000 on a piece of short fiction which will be given away for free on Tor.com, making us no immediate “profit” whatsoever. This was not an atypical day. And I’m quite certain this is true of my colleagues all over town. Betsy Mitchell and the other Del Rey people make long-term investments every day of the week; they are not slaves to “instant profit.” Ginjer Buchanan and Susan Allison at Ace are not “run by accountants.” The folks at Orbit US show every evidence of being in the business of “finding new talent, and developing that talent with the aim of building an author’s name”; if they were interested only in a “fast buck,” they’d be commodities traders. ”
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/
” …. UPDATE: Mr. Steven “Tex” Brust nails it. “Of course modern publishing is run by the accountants. As soon as a guy gets an MBA today, the first thing he says, ‘I want to get into genre publishing, because that’s where the real money is.’”
Or as Frankenstein, and I, would put it, Theres no such thing as a Free Lurch.
If Kate’s Publishers did Not DO a Publication Party for the ‘ Midnight Mayor ‘ that did involve the Presence of Lots of Bent Politicians and a Great Deal of Vintage Champagne … served in LARGE Silver Goblets and not those Tiny, Silly, Fluted Glasses .. Then Why Didn’t They ?
AdrianH says:
April 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm (UTC 1 )
“This, combined with a rising concern about blood quality and personal hygiene in general, following the discovery that vampirism did not, in fact, render immunity to certain blood-borne diseases, has naturally inhibited the lifestyle of many otherwise merrily predatory vampires, as a victim of Seah’s Syndrome, while he or she may enjoy stalking their prey, will often have to conclude their hunt with a series of personal and probing medical questions before risking even a casual drink.”
That made me laugh out loud! I had a clear vision of a scene in a teen-centric vampire drama where the darkly-handsom, in a dangerous sort of way, just as his canines suddenly lengthen, pausing and saying to his intended victim, “I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but…”
Cue instant loss of all dramatic atmosphere.
Brilliant.
Emily C says:
April 10, 2010 at 5:53 am (UTC 1 )
Haha. The “probing medical questions” bit made me laugh out loud. Brilliant.